


you're on speaker-crab

by stereosymbiosis



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Being Lost, Homestuck Shipping World Cup 2014, M/M, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 11:38:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1686956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stereosymbiosis/pseuds/stereosymbiosis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Karkat,” Dave said, “Karkitty, honeybear, sweetiepie, I told you we should have pulled over and asked for directions.”</p><p>(Or, a story in which Karkat and Dave get lost, Dave is a little shit, and Kanaya makes a mistake.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're on speaker-crab

**Author's Note:**

> this is a hswc br1 fill for the [following prompt](http://hs-worldcup.dreamwidth.org/18819.html?thread=3512963#cmt3512963): "Remember when Dave and Karkat got lost on the meteor and had to get Kanaya to come find them?"

“Why does that wall look strangely familiar?”

Karkat stopped in his tracks, so suddenly and forcefully that he almost looked like an animated cartoon character instead of a real living being. Karkat took a deep breath, and Dave waited for the coming eruption.

“Well, Dave, let me think. Could it possibly be because we, for some unknown reason, decided to trust the words that came out of your squawk gaper and followed your ‘directions’ -- please, note the enclosure talons here, I need to be absolutely sure you get this through your thick thinkpan -- and now we are, hmm, what would you call it…completely fucking lost?” His already kind of high-pitched voice went up about half an octave at the end of his spiel. It was a little cute.

“Karkat,” Dave said, “Karkitty, honeybear, sweetiepie, I told you we should have pulled over and asked for directions.”

Karkat buried his face in his hands. “I’m going to murder you and eat your ignorance shaft for breakfast.”

“Ooh, baby, eat my shaft.” Karkat made some sort of weird troll sound, a rumbling in the back of his throat, but Dave would swear that it was halfway between a growl and a laugh.

After a moment, Karkat pulled his crab-shaped communication thing out of his pocket and mounted it on his wrist. He pressed a couple of buttons, held his wrist a little closer to his mouth, and said, “Kanaya? Are you there? Please, for the love of all that is holy, come in.”

There was a rustling on the other end of the line, a soft sigh, and then Kanaya said, “I am here, but I am also a little busy. Do you need assistance with something?”

“Kanaya, we are fucking lost in the fucking bowels of this meteor. Please come find us before your matesprit’s ecto-brother forces me to gut him.”

“Is it just you and Dave that are lost,” Kanaya said through the speaker.

“Yes, it is just me and this bespectacled idiot with the red pajamas.”

“Karkat, you’re going to make me feel self-conscious about my fashion choices,” Dave said, and Karkat rolled his eyes so far back that Dave thought they were going to roll out of his head.

The speaker crackled and Kanaya said, “I thought you would welcome the chance to spend time with Dave. Just the other day you told me you thought it would be nice to spend time alone with him.”

Karkat closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall. He looked agonized in a way that only he could achieve. Dave grabbed his wrist, leaned into the communication device, and said gleefully, “Kanaya, you’re on speaker crab.”

There was a pause, and then Kanaya said “Oh. Uh. Sorry.” Karkat yanked his wrist out of Dave’s grasp and groaned lowly. Kanaya continued, “Where are you, I will come and find you.”

“I am in the deepest circle of hell, Kanaya, and you have led me here. Just leave me here to die.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.”


End file.
